Ray Hopewood 2008

Hopewood wins in Iowa, moves on to New Hampshire

Whew, last night was a biggun’. All that campaigning, all that spending – politics is a money game, my friend, just like the game of love.

So you’re looking at the headline of this blog post, and you’re thinking to yourself, “But Ray didn’t win Iowa (although he should have, clearly, and gosh, ain’t he handsome?).” I understand how you feel. But let it be known, I did, indeed, “win” Iowa. You can’t see me now, but I’m making those little air quote signs when I say “win.” Kind of like how I make them when I talk about how our software “just plain works.” Well, it works for Ray Hopewood’s wallet, that’s for damn sure.

First of all, I’m not running as a Republican or a Democrat, but as a Technocrat. Trust me, pal, I’ve got that nomination locked up tight.

Second, Barrack Obama and Mike Huckabee landed upset wins for their respective parties. How did they do that? By using software from Hopewood Industries, of course!

Sorry, that should be “using.” Air quotes, just love those things.

Both campaigns bought Hopewood software. Don’t know if they actually used it  but what matters is they bought it and lots of it. You know that old adage “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours?” We have a similar saying at Hopewood Industries: “you buy craploads of enterprise software for your campaign, and we’ll create fake ids for in-source voters from Malaysia and send them to the polls.”

That’s what we call a win-win situation, folks. Obama wins, Huckabee wins, Clinton wins (well she placed third, but she’s calling it a win, so you go, girl), Hopewood wins and Chua Soi Lek lands a boondoggle for his people on Malaysia to take the focus off his “home movies.”

Tags: air quotes, barrack, barrack obama, campaign, caucus, caucuses, chua soi lek, clinton, election, hillary, hillary clinton, hopewood, huckabee, malaysia, obama, president, presidential, ron paul